I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
