i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
