i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
