she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
