based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
