"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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