I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize