its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
