Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
