Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
