In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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