it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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