So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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