Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
