he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
