that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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