wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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