I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
