Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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