SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
