Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
