**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
