New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
