We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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