Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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