im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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