Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize