It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
