I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
