I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I party with great urgency now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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