If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
