Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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