so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
