I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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