Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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