So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
