I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
