I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
