I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
