last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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