what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
