i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
