we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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