ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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