It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize