My brain says no but my pants say off.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We named our party play list daddy issues
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
