awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
