the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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