He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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