Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize