he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
