whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize