The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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