guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
