I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
