I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
