Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
