we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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