I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
