Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
