Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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