brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
