i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
