it wasn't lemon gatorade
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
