two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
