I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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