Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
high people should be assigned attendants
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize