Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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