I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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